Q: #DearBella, I’ve been in a relationship for 2.5 years with a man I’m very much in love with. We have a fantastic sex life that includes both a physical and emotional connection. The only problem? My orgasms (let’s call them marijuana orgasms) disappear almost completely if I’m not smoking pot.

I’d like to quit smoking for many other reasons, but I’m afraid of the effect it would have on our sex life. I think that the pot is getting me out of my head and into my body more, but I’m not sure how to create that without the weed. 

Thoughts? —Marijuanagasm

A: #Dearest Marijuanagasm, Both men and women have reported marijuana orgasms/ heightened sensation and function during sex after smoking mary jane.

So what to do now that Mary has become a sexual crutch and a hardwired prerequisite for your orgasmic release?  One word…ween! It will take dedication and patience to separate the two.  Don’t set yourself up for failure. Start by assigning yourself a mini-mission you will be likely to achieve.

Mission #1 set a goal to not smoke da pot pre-sex for a week, and during this time practice edging. Edging is the practice of keeping yourself in a state of heightened arousal for extended time without orgasm-ing. Have no agenda of orgasm.

The good news is that, unlike food and water, you can live without the Mother Herb.

Ask your sweetie to give you a full body-sensual massage with oodles of foreplay this week. It’s been my experience that if we put it in our heads we NEED to climax we can psychologically kill it.

Be relaxed, not goal-oriented. Practice embodiment. Be patient and kind with yourself as discover sex minus the green bud. And don’t forget: although its not cigarettes, smoking weed is still harmful. If you gotta have it, eat it or vape.

Good Luck!


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