Q: Dear Bella, My partner and I are feeling more like roommates than lovers. It sucks! What should I do?⁠

A: Dearest, It’s time to boot out the roommate and welcome back your lover.

BUT FIRST: Get some fresh air.⁠ 

Taking time for yourself, your friends, and your hobbies are essential to keeping your intimate partnership vibrant.⁠

For example, my husband and I have separate residences.⁠

We’ve discovered over the years that we both need lots of alone time and space.⁠ And while having dual homes may not be a current option for you, you can still create “me” time.⁠

When we spend too much time with our partner, we rub off on each other like magnets that have been stored in the same box for years and demagnetize each other.⁠

Nothing kills sexual polarity faster than familiarity.⁠

Familiarity breeds depolarization, which is when your partner becomes less like a lover and more like your buddy.⁠ And depolarization breeds contempt among lovers.⁠

So, take your partner AND your relationship out of the box.⁠

Forget what you think the “perfect relationship” looks like. Create a partnership that is right for the two of you.⁠

It may not look traditional.⁠

And in my personal opinion, that’s a good sign ;)⁠

Xoxo, Bella

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Are you are currently grappling with the “buddy-effect"?

As a certified holistic sex coach, I help men, women, and couples liberate their intimate lives. Reach out here for a free 20 minute consultation with me, Bella.