It’s rape and sexual abuse. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines rape as follows:
An unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person’s will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception.
It’s time we stop mincing words and normalizing circumcision and finally call it out for what it is. Being tied down and having the tip of your penis cut off is genital mutilation and rape. That this barbaric act is normalized and performed as a routine procedure is indicative of just how completely asleep our culture is. Circumcision is an assault on men and men’s sexuality and its impact is far reaching.
Holistic sex and relationship coach, Kim Anami, outright calls circumcision sexual abuse and likens people’s acceptance of it as a form of Stockholm Syndrome. Most of the millions of American men who underwent circumcision as infants can’t remember their rape trauma and suffer from undiagnosed PTSD and an offshoot of Stockholm syndrome (a condition which causes hostages to develop a psychological alliance with their captors during captivity) by justifying and minimizing the procedure and perpetuating the abuse on their offspring.
It takes tremendous courage to acknowledge and accept that you were raped and mutilated and had the most sensitive and pleasurable part of your penis removed. Refusing to trivialize genital mutilation and rape is the first step. The next is doing the inner work to heal the unresolved trauma. Additionally, most parents who had their son(s) circumcised did it because they thought it was necessary and were simply following tradition or the counsel of their doctor. They also need to process the shame, remorse, grief and anger that come from recognizing the consequences of their actions. Unfortunately, most people would rather choose to bury their heads in the sand than to let what they did sink in and atone for their mistakes.
I believe that it’s essentially the job of the mother to protect her child. Circumcision creates a loss of trust and deep fear in men toward the feminine. How could it not? If you’re a mother who circumcised her son I urge you to take responsibility and at the very least apologize for your ignorance. Take it a step further and make a difference for the future by starting a support group. Start somewhere. Perhaps we’d have fewer pedophiles, sociopaths, misogynists and rapists in our midst if over half of all American boys weren’t routinely pulled from their mother’s groin, strapped down, mutilated and tortured as a welcome to the world.
Circumcision is a violation of human rights. Everyone has the right to have autonomy over their own body. It’s a child’s right (male, female and intersex) to remain whole and intact. Over 77% of males born in the US in 2018 were circumcised and denied this basic fundamental human right. Marilyn Milos, the founder and director of Genital Autonomy America, formerly known as the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Center (NOCIRC) said, “My freedom ends where your body begins,” and I couldn’t agree more. Religious ritual circumcision should be not be performed until a boy reaches adulthood and can make that choice for himself. All Canadian provinces have dropped insurance coverage for circumcision; isn’t it time we demand the same? Isn’t it time we set up a support system for the millions of mutilated American men out there? A man’s right to remain intact is equal to a women’s right to choose. Imagine if men started their own version of #me too; would they be supported and taken seriously?
It’s against the Hippocratic oath and a blatant disregard of the promise to, Do No Harm. Just because circumcision is the oldest surgery known to humanity doesn’t change the facts that it’s rape and sexual abuse. Infant circumcision is medically unnecessary and unlawful, and any doctor performing it should be sent to jail. A healthy baby doesn’t come out needing to be fixed.
During the American Victorian Era routine circumcision was touted as a preventative or cure for masturbation. The procedure became common between 1870 and 1920 and spread to all English-speaking countries. Dr. Kellogg recommended:
“A remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment. In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement.”
Over 100 years have passed and we are still in the clutches of the puritanical era. The United States is now the only English-speaking country that continues to practice routine circumcision on a majority of newborn boys for non-religious reasons.
It greatly reduces pleasure. The foreskin contains over half of the nerves of the penis and protects the head of the penis (the glans) keeping it moist and sensitive. Further pleasure is lost as the glans is reduced in sensitivity as the skin hardens from constant exposure. A 2007 study found that the five most sensitive parts of the penis are removed by circumcision creating a 75 % loss of fine touch sensation in the circumcised male compared to the intact male. Tragically, many circumcised men tend to trivialize their abuse because they have no way of ever knowing the extraordinary amount of pleasure that was stolen from them.
“Morris Sorrells of National Organization of Circumcision Information Resources Center and colleagues created a “penile sensitivity map” by measuring the sensitivity of 19 locations on the penises of 159 male volunteers. Of the participants, 91 were circumcised as infants and none had histories of penile or sexual dysfunction.”
For circumcised penises, the most sensitive region was the circumcision scar on the underside of the penis, the researchers found. For uncircumcised penises, the areas most receptive to pressure were five regions normally removed during circumcision—all of which were more sensitive than the most sensitive part of the circumcised penis.”
The foreskin serves a purpose. At birth, the foreskin is attached to the glans by a layer of cells to keep out contaminants. Over the next 5 to 10 years, the foreskin will naturally separate from the head of the penis. During circumcision the foreskin is forcefully separated from the glans. The doctor inserts a probe between the glans and the foreskin and scrapes all the way around the glans. Studies have shown this to be the most painful part of the procedure. Parents in one recent U.S. study reported varying levels of pain up to six weeks after the circumcision in more than two-thirds of newborn boys. Moreover, doctors are not required by law to track or report the number of botched circumcisions which are alarmingly common. It could take decades before anyone realizes how severe the damage was and by that time men are usually too embarrassed to come forward.
The erogenous tissue of the foreskin contains 20,000 nerve endings known as Meissner’s corpuscles, a specific kind of nerve ending that respond to light touch making it the most highly sensitive, functioning part of the male anatomy. In comparison, the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings. The foreskin is also a retractable sleeve. The penis is meant to have moving parts. The gliding motion of foreskin during sex and the rolling of the foreskin back and forth during masturbation provides additional pleasure for the man. And just like a woman’s labia can be suckled and tugged, similar pleasurable sensations are had with the foreskin.
The bottom line is that men should have the chance to decide for themselves whether something as significant and personal as an irreversible surgery that forever changes their ability to experience sexual pleasure is what they really want, when they reach an age of understanding.
And please note that I strongly advise for anyone who has endured serious sexual trauma, which circumcision is, to be seeing a trauma specialist. I suggest finding a professional that employs psychotherapeutic alternatives like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Somatic Experiencing which use the body to process the trauma.
Thank you for making your sexual and emotional health a priority.
I am honored to be part of your journey. Below, you will find two guided visualizations to help you release trauma connected with circumcision, and heighten your experience of pleasure.
PART 1
PART 2
Love,
Bella LaVey
Additional Resources
Anatomy of the Penis, Mechanics of Intercourse
American Circumcision, The Documentary
Norm: The National Organization for Restoring Men
Can-Fap Canadian Foreskin Restoration Awareness Project
National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers (NOCIRC)
Emotional Freedom Technique: Tapping for Trauma and Abuse
Controversial Rites of Ultra-orthodox Rabbis
5 Most Sensitive Areas Removed During Circumcision
I am a 31 year old white man of Celtic and Germanic ancestry and have used a foreskin restoring device for almost 21 months now. I now have about 1/3-1/2 of my glans covered when flaccid on average, but it can go up to 2/3 under certain non-cold conditions. (I started off at around a CI-2 and am just over a CI-4.5–refer to the Coverage Index link below.) My goal is to have just over half of the glans covered when fully erect (CI-8), which means complete natural coverage (with some slack) 24/7 when flaccid. It is a long process, but not difficult or inconvenient and it is easy to get used to it. (I am one of the super slow regrowers–most likely due to extremely high stress levels–so know that your results will probably be much quicker than mine.) Regardless of the time cost, this process is TOTALLY WORTH IT and the benefits start in just a few months and get better and better. Not only does the penis look better and become much more sensitive and give you WAY more powerful and pleasurable orgasms, but it also helps with sexual endurance too. I think most importantly though, it lends a powerful degree of psychological stability to the mind and spirit by getting back a part of oneself that was stolen without permission and for literally NO beneficial purpose whatsoever.
I have a feeling that it also leads to greater auric stability as the penis head resonates most strongly with the heart and pineal gland and with those constant being uncovered and abrased by the underwear in a circumcised penis, there is no psychologically and spiritually shielding. (I am an acupuncturist and biologist.) By restoring more coverage one gets the feeling of having more spiritual armor so to speak (at least this is what I have noticed on my recovery journey.) And the long process of restoration definitely helps the insanity of infant circumcision sink in. What could take four years of constant (though by no means difficult or inconvenient) restoration work was literally taken away in minutes just after birth, giving me and millions of other guys the first message of: “Pain. Suffering. Betrayal. Welcome to hell! Your parents who are supposed to love and protect you are doing this right after your arrival in this world.” (In the few cultures of the world that practice circumcision, it is usually done after puberty or before marriage. Even the Jews wait a few days before doing it and not RIGHT after birth.) Instead, when I have a son one day, I will save him the trouble, pain, and suffering and let him be as Nature intended. I want his first message in this world to be: “Welcome, my son. Your mother and I love you and we will protect you and support you as you grow into your manhood.”
I want to share the following resources to help other guys out there regain a sense of physical and spiritual wholeness. There is a lot to say about literally healing from and taking back something that was stolen from oneself is such a traumatic and unconscienable way.
Custom Foreskin restoring device:
http://foreskinrestoring.com/main.html
This is a suuuper informative site detailing many different methods and the inventor’s and customers’ personal progress. I modified my own device to be similar to this guy’s version and have seen MUCH better results–around double what I was getting using the device I got from the resource below. (I added weights and limited tugging time to around 8 hours per day instead of all my waking hours. This allowed for more recovery time and may have led to faster skin cell division rate.)
TLC Tugger Foreskin Restoring device:
http://foreskinrestoring.com/main.html
I bought this device and used it for a whole year. I got about and inch of growth so 1/2 inch overall in coverage. I think the model in the first link is much much better and it has more options and more information as well. But this is still a good source.
Foreskin Coverage Index:
http://www.restoringforeskin.org/coverage-index/CI-chart.htm
This is a good site to help guys know where they are starting off at and helps them set a goal and track their progress.
Anyways, I hope this is helpful to you guys. If you do this, even if you stop halfway, you will not regret it.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave your comment on the blog.
It’s tremendously exciting to have a man share his personal experience with others. Thank you for providing resources on what methods have worked best for you. It’s so inspiring to hear that you’ve already experienced quantifiable, positive results with foreskin restoration.
Congratulations! I hope that this information will reach the eyes of men (and the women who love them), everywhere. Thank you for paving the way for others.
Best of luck and do continue to share your progress with me and my readers. In love!!!! <3 Bella
Thank you for your advocacy. We are so addicted to conscious thoughts and therapies that it’s challenging and important that we understand the nature of the trauma that we experienced before “words”.
As such, your encouragement to seek non-cognitive therapies designed to treat trauma is spot on. Thank you again for this important article.
Now 75 y.o. I had the good fortune that my father was vehemently opposed to circumcision. Growing up in farm country, the farm boys were in the minority when it came to being intact. Most of the “moneyed” lads were circumcised. I always felt real “good” inside when I saw a lad “just like me”.
Military Service revealed even more men “just like me”. Anti-circumcision has been gaining wide support across The States, but we still have a long way to go.
Thank you for sharing. I believe expecting parents should be required to watch video tapes of infant circumcision, hear the wee lad’s screams and then be informed the foreskin is RIPPED off. It is not, simply, like peeling an apple.
As an ambassador with Intact America, I applaud this vigorously. I have watched a video tape of an infant boy being circumcised. It chilled me to the bone and I felt absolutely sick. One viewing was enough.
I am a member of a number of intact sites on Facebook, including Your Whole Baby. What confounds me is how intactivism gets more attention from women than from men. Knowing the foreskin is FUSED to the head of the penis, and that it must be RIPPED off, is enough for me to declare it mutilation and a criminal act. Circumcision is one of the cruelest and most brutal acts imaginable.
I don’t know how I escaped the knife, as my brothers did not. Maybe it was an oversight, but I consider it a miracle. I am a regular masturbatpr, and have been most of my 67 years. I also am a gay man, married for the last 6 years to a wonderful man 16 years my senior. We are affectionate but rarely bring up anything sexual. I know that he seldom tries to masturbate, and I am glad that he still has that spark. He knows that I enthusiastically do it least every day. I rarely have a sex partner, and when I do I am a “bottom” during intercourse. I treasure my foreskin and would NEVER even consider having it removed. I have “played” with many circumsized penises and find them lacking the sensitivity and easy stroking that I have. It is time to stop the cruel practice that ruins a man’s opportunities for pleasure later in life. I started masturbating at about 7 years old. I have enjoyed every minute of it and thank my cousin who taught me how to do it.
Thank you Bella for this article. I had not given much thought to circumcision right or wrong until recently. I’ve lived most of my 63 years wrapped in the culture of normalized mutilation. Not ever having foreskin (since an infant) I have no idea what I may be missing – but reading that a 75% loss of fine touch sensation is a terrible and sad revelation! I will be following the links that you and other respondents have shared in an effort to begin recovery.
Love and gratitude.
Thank you Pony Allen. It’s so important that we educate ourselves to pass this knowledge on to our children and our children’s children to prevent this happening to our future men. Hugs and love!