Dear Sacred Slut,

I have been a solo flier in the sex rhealm for an extended time. Thanks to my beloved meditative practices and toys, I experience phenomenal pleasure and openness. In my love to share this lusciousness, about a year ago I presented my open flower to a new lover who eagerly pounced into action. While this sounds exciting in theory and is true to form in the context of my remote sexual history as a ravenous and rambunctious tart, I was physically unprepared for and injured by his forceful lusty assault. This experience seeded a doubt in my psyche about my practical availability to the masculine force that is the reflection of my massively receptive feminine essence. My question is this: how do I reconcile this polarity? 

Thanks and love,

The Wayward Wanton

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Dearest Wayward Wanton,


My immediate hit is that the recent ravishment-gone-bad with your new lover triggered body memories of a previous sexual trauma. It sounds like you have solo sex nailed. You obviously know how to sexually turn yourself on and take yourself to ecstasy. I’ve discovered we can be enlightened in some rhealms of our sexuality and still expanding in others. We also heal trauma in layers, a little at a time. Perhaps you’re ready to look a little deeper into your psyche. I’m sure you are wondering why you didn’t stop the incident or slow it down?  Have you had issues saying no and vocally articulating your needs in the past?  It is impossible to be in our open feminine essence when we are afraid of being injured. You cannot reconcile polarity until you understand why you lost your sexual power and then, retrieve it. This needs to be explored first. Little steps, dear sister.

  1. Forgive yourself for not speaking up.
  2. Write a letter from your flower. Let your pussy tell you what she fears and what she needs. Ask her how she feels about what happened. Free write without any corrections, don’t let the inner editor out! This may be quite revealing and provide valuable insight.
  3. If you are lucky enough to live in an area where there is a daka service, consider exploring sexual healing. A daka is a male sacred sexuality practitioner. Make sure he is appropriately trained and ask for references.  A minimum of three sessions is optimal. I recommend a sacred spot massage session to remove sexual trauma, a second session designed to find your “NO” and your voice around sex (I need… I want…) and a third session to explore polarity and sexual reprogramming. With the help of a professional you can safely emote, heal old wounds and be truly empowered.
  4. Part of expressing the feminine essence includes the ability to let yourself roar when needed. Make friends with the wild, uncensored woman inside you. She protects your little girl.

You are loved and cherished, Wayward Wanton.

Blessed be,